anyone would be lucky to date me. i was “a pleasure to have in class”
fire exits are so dumb. if a building starts burning the fire isn’t going to just leave. fire doesn’t even know what exits are
im dying of period cramps on the sofa and i heard someone in the kitchen and assumed it was my mom so i yelled I CAN FEEL MY UTERUS PULSING HELP and my dad came into the room with the most horrified expression on his face
i found this on my bed
Keeping The Same Tabs Open For 9 Days Straight Because They Contain Information Relevant To Tasks You’re Too Lazy To Complete - A novel by me
Did anyone else read this in their gangsta voice?
people who laugh so hard at their own jokes that they can’t even finish the joke because they’re laughing so hard are my favorite kind of people